Loving the Wrong Person
We're all seeking that special person who is right for us.
But if you've been through enough relationships, you begin to suspect there's no right person, just different flavors of wrong.
Why is this?
Because you yourself are wrong in some way, and you seek out partners who are wrong in some complementary way. But it takes a lot of living to grow fully into your own wrongness. And it isn't until you finally run up against your deepest demons, your unsolvable problems--the ones that make you truly who you are--that we're ready to find a lifelong mate. Only then do you finally know what you're looking for. You're looking for the wrong person. But not just any wrong person: the right wrong person--someone you lovingly gaze upon and think, "This is the problem I want to have."
I will find that special person who is wrong for me in just the right way. Let our scars fall in love.
I'm a big podcast fan and today I was listening to the Moth podcast and found some great stories I wanted to share. The first is about falling in love but then finding that what was needed to move forward was too much to ask. The second is about a man who falls in love, marries the woman of his dreams, loses her and then gets her back. The last is about a man who loses his marriage but finds meaning and purpose in helping another.
I particularly like the second story because it touches on what not do to in a marriage (drift apart and ignore the drift until it's too late) and what TO do in a marriage (pay attention to each other as though you are still courting, never losing site that this is the one person above all others you want to please and yes, even serve).
I hope you enjoy!
The Moth Radio Hour: Mismatch, Marriage, and a Marathon
Krista Jordan, Ph.D., ABPP
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