We all know on an intuitive level the power of touch. When we hear an infant cry our instinct is the pick the baby up and hold it, chest to chest, right over our heart. Mother nature has embedded in each of us the intrinsic knowledge that touch soothes. Touch is the earliest sense to develope in the human fetus. Surely that relates to it's importance in the survival of the organism. And yet our modern life, especially in this country (the USA) has diminished the amount of touch that each of us engages in every day. Studies done by Harper, Wiens and Matarazzo (1978) looked at touch in various contexts, including one study done in coffee houses. They found that during a one hour sitting 180 touchings were observed for Puerto Ricans, 110 for French, none for English and 2 for Americans. That's quite a difference! What exactly are we, as American's, missing out on?

One study done on pre-term infants (Field, International Journal of Behavioral Development, 22(4),1998) found that the stimulation of pressure receptors under the skin caused an increase in vagal nerve activity and slowing physiology that then caused the babies to be more relaxed in their behaviors. This also led to a decrease in stress hormones, most particularly cortisol, and an increase in immune function, particularly natural killer cells. The take home point again is that TOUCH MATTERS. Babies do better when they are touched, as do we all. 

Another interesting study in the Journal of Behav Med. 2003 Fall;29(3) by Grewen, Anderson, Girdler and Ligth showed that loving partner contact is related to lower cardiovascular reactivity. This was measured by blood pressure reactivity to stress in healthy adults. The stress was induced by asking people to do a public speech (one of the most common fears!). Half of the participants had been able to hold their partners hand for 10 minutes prior to the speech and also asked to hug their partner for 20 seconds. The other half were just asked to sit by themselves for 10 minutes. People who had the loving contact of their partner prior to the stress had less increases in BP. The authors concluded that "These findings suggest that affectionate relationships with a supportive partner may contribute to lower reactivity to stressful life events and may partially mediate the benefit of marital support on better cardiovascular health."

Another study done by Grewen, Girdler, Amico and Light (Psychosomatic Medicine, 67, 2005) found that people's opinions about how supportive their partners are can be measured by looking at oxytocin, norepinephrine, cortisol in the blood as well as actual blood pressure before and after loving contact with their partner. Couples were assigned to 10 minutes of loving contact and then their blood was analyzed. Those who rated their relationship as more supportive had higher levels of oxytocin and in women higher partner support was correlated with lower BP. For women higher levels of oxytocin were also related to lower BP and lower levels of norepinephrine. The authors conclude that "Greater partner support is linked to higher [oxytocin] for both men and women; however, the importance of [oxytocin] and its potentially cardio-protective effects on sympathetic activity and BP may be greater for women." Again it is important to note that this study essentially measures the effects of physical contact with a loving partner, showing that loving touch in a supportive relationship literally affects our body chemistry in beneficial ways. 

This link between loving touch and oxytocin lead to Dr. Zak prescribes at least 8 hugs per day in his TED talk in order to feel happier and more connected, as well as to nurture relationships. Zak's talk discusses the findings of the research above on hugging one's partner and how it can benefit one's health, especially the cardiovascular system. 


In the wake of Valentines's Day it seems appropriate to celebrate the importance of loving touch. Perhaps science has finally given us reasons to stop feeling guilty about our inherent interdependence. It's time to support our need for connection and quite literally embrace our need for others. My advice is to love well and touch often. Your heart, immune system, stress level and state of mind will thank you. 


With warm wishes,


Dr. Jordan

If you have read my website you will know that I am very interested in attachment styles. Research done by Dr. John Bowlby and his associate Mary Main in the 1940's showed us that infants have a potential of 4 different styles of relating to their primary caregivers: Secure (the ideal, healthy pattern), Anxious-Ambivalent (sometimes called Angry-Resistant), Anxious-Avoidant and Disorganized (sometimes called "Cannot Classify"). These 4 patterns have proven to be extremely useful in predicting adult behaviors in romantic relationships as well as parenting behaviors. 

If you are interested to find out what your attachment style is there are several ways to go about this. The "gold standard" has always been to have the Adult Attachment Interview administered by a trained researcher. This is the instrument used in research to identify attachment patterns in adults.  However finding a therapist who is trained to administer this instrument can be difficult! Another adult attachment test that has been developed is the Adult Attachment Projective. However, this also needs to be done by a trained professional and not all cities (and certainly most rural areas) have anyone who has this type of training. 


In an effort to find a method for people to determine their adult attachment classification I have tried various self-administered tests. The one that I have found to be most useful is on the website of psychologist Diane Poole Heller. Her self-administered test can be done online and gives you results immediately. Rather than being fully categorical (meaning you can only have one classification), her test creates a pie chart showing you what percent of your responses line up with a particular style. This is much more in keeping with what I see as a clinician-- that in some situations a person will look anxious-ambivalent, but in other situations they may look more anxious-avoidant for example. I think her approach makes sense clinically and is also easy for a lay person to understand. 


For a really great understanding of how your attachment style impacts your romantic relationships I strongly recommend listening to Dr. Stan Tatkin's MP3 download, "Your Brain On Love". It explains in plain English how your childhood attachment style influences your romantic relationships in adulthood. 


Remember, even those of us who came into adulthood with insecure attachment styles can learn new ways of being. With the help of a good therapist we can learn to re-pattern our ways of relating to mimic those of secure functioning couples. This can bring increased harmony, enjoyment, intimacy and stability to our relationships. Thanks to neuroplasticity we all have a chance at the benefits of a secure attachment to that special person.