If you have read my blog before you know that I practice PACT -- the Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy. This approach was developed by Stan Tatkin, PsyD and incorporates brain science and attachment theory into couples work. I find it to be a brilliant, dynamic and exciting type of work that produces faster and deeper results than most couples therapies available.
In regards to the specific problem of affairs, Dr. Tatkin did an interview with Dr. Diane Poole Heller in which they discussed how affairs in our adult relationships are often related to problems with our attachment to our caregivers as children. The interview is presented in two parts:
If you are wanting to heal from an affair or learn more about couples dynamics in general I highly recommend watching these interview segments. More information can also be found in Dr. Tatkin's audio program Your Brain On Love", which is available on iTunes, Amazon or at www.soundstrue.com